A SECOND OPINION???

After the successful result of my x-ray my doc suggests that the problem seems to be muscular, and that I should consider physiotherapy. I'm not sure about the potential benefit, but I will give it a go and see if I can get any real relief. I don't have a great deal of faith in physiotherapy for this kind of thing but I must explore every avenue to achieve a more comfortable life.
Meanwhile, and by total coincidence I met a hospital doctor and decided to go against my usual 'better' judgment and asked for an informal opinion. She said that she wasn't surprised by my ongoing discomfort, and that it would not be unusual for the healing process to take up to 18 months after major surgery. I find that heartening even though it may mean continuing pain for a while longer. I am happy to be in the 'normal' scheme of things; I don't want to be exceptional.
Anyway let's see how things develop over the next couple of months.

GOOD NEWS BAD NEWS!!

Well the good news is that my x-rays proved satisfactory; so no problem with my Sternum, which is healing well. I am allowed to play golf again, but I must be a little careful!!

So the bad news is that I am still suffering severe discomfort and some pain, so something is still not in order. We don't yet know what the problem is, but it will probably be either muscular or nerve damage. I will be having more tests and examinations, and, hopefully we will resolve the problem without too much inconvenience (or pain!).

Let's see how it all turns out.

Watch this space - again!!!!

A SETBACK - OR IS IT??

It seems that getting over major surgery, and all the healing process that goes with it is never-ending. After a long slow recovery the wound to my chest just doesn't seem to really improve. Not surprisingly after surgery involving muscle, nerve tissue and the sternum (or breastbone to my non medically qualified readers) the internal repair is never ending. After some months of gradual improvement I now seem to be going backwards. My chest has become very tender and painful to the extent that I am prevented from some activities. I am woken at night with the pain, and I have become worried that something may be wrong. I have seen my doctor and she has expressed some concern. I should now, over a year after surgery, be fully healed. It is possible that my breastbone has not properly fused and that is causing the extreme discomfort. I have had an x-ray today, and now must wait for the results.

I dread to think what might be necessary to rectify the problem if it does prove to be the bone, but hopefully we will find that it is muscular or nerve damage. I wonder if perhaps I'm being over sensitive; I don't think so, but we shall see.

In the meantime I've been advised to take it easy, cut out the golf and wait for the results. So that's what I'll do.

Hopefully I will be able to post some more positive news very soon.

MY 'OTHER' BIRTHDAY!!

What a strange day it is today; it is the first 'anniversary' of my heart surgery and it is having a very odd effect on me. When I went to bed last night I was very aware that, one year ago, I was in the pre-op ward at Hammersmith Hospital where I was being prepared for my surgery. When I fell asleep I fell into the most realistic dream. I remembered everything about that day, and, in my sleep I lived every moment of the preparation, from my arrival at the hospital, through my meetings with the medical staff, the full body shave, the special antiseptic shower; everything!! The last I remember before I woke up was being wheeled into the theatre. THEN I WOKE UP! and I was in dreadful pain, with my chest feeling as if it had been opened up afresh and was raw with the pain. I never believed in psychosomatic pain UNTIL NOW! It was just so real - and so painful that I almost cried out. I can't explain it, but the pain in my chest lasted right through the morning, and only started easing during the afternoon. As I write this I still feel very tender, with significant aching right across my chest. I would never have thought that this anniversary would have such an effect, but here it is.
I suppose I feel that today is my first 'other' birthday. After all I did doubt whether I would make it through my surgery, so I should feel celebratory.
Everything about this last year has been so meaningful, with many new experiences and a new determination to make the most of my life. I just hope that I can continue with a positive attitude, which should carry me through my next bout of surgery later in the year.
But that's another story!!

65 AND GOING STRONG!!!

Last Friday was my 65th birthday. It seems hard to think that one year ago, I had serious doubts over whether or not I would ever have another birthday, and yet here I am. It has been an amazing year with experiences and emotions I would never have imagined. I really do feel re-born, so perhaps I should call this my first birthday. I have truly tried to live up to my promise to myself to enjoy every moment of my life and have tried to fill my time with things I want to do. But it's not easy. My return to 'normal' coincided with the most serious financial crisis we have ever known, and I had to come to terms with the resulting massive reduction in income. After earning nothing for almost six months this was a heavy blow, but I am a man of simple pleasures and cost is not everything. I have been able to enjoy my life; golf, the band, work and my friends and family and, although I do suffer from extreme tiredness I do enjoy my activities.

I now find myself looking forward to 2009 with some confidence that I will recover in health and strength. My kidney transplant is not imminent; in fact I may have a whole year before I need the surgery.

I will try not to neglect this blog so much in the future - it really does help me.

SORRY I'VE REPEATED A PHOTO!!!!

A WALK IN THE PARK??

Well this weekend saw another milestone (or was it millstone?) in my recovery progress. Since I started playing golf again a little while ago, I have been driving round the course in a buggy. However I decided that it was time to get back to walking. So on Saturday for The Untouchables Monthly Medal I set off on foot to tackle the course. I was supported by a new, very fancy electric trolley, which carried my bag and all the kit. It's really very special to walk the course; you get to feel the grass under your feet and somehow become 'at one' with nature. (How pretentious is that?) The walk was a real joy, but I was absolutely exhausted by the end. My legs and feet felt as though they were going to fall off but I'm happy to report the heart worked a dream!! I had to decide whether or not I should walk again the next day because I was, very unusually playing with The Titans on Sunday. Anyway I decided I would take to my legs again and made it round the course for a second time. It was a great struggle but I feel I really achieved something important in my full recovery. I shall walk again at every opportunity to improve my health and fitness. The weather on both days was beautiful - a really good time to be alive.
Now I'm looking forward to a few days in Spain where I will relax a bit, play some golf and watch Europe slaughter the USA in the Ryder Cup.
I intend to play as much golf as I can in the next month or two while, hopefully the weather remains kind and before I have to consider the fact that I will be going back into hospital for my kidney transplant. I will be registered on the donor waiting list in November and then just have to wait until a suitable organ comes along. This could be anything from days to months, but I'll just have to see how it goes.
Also I'm happily rehearsing with the band for our next gig in October - I'm looking forward to it.
I will try to add more thoughts over the coming days and weeks as I approach my next surgery.

SORRY I'VE BEEN NEGLECTING YOU!!!

It's been ages since I last posted a message on my blog. Sorry I've been neglecting you, but somehow time flew by without me sitting down and setting my thoughts in print.
I've been carrying on with my regular kidney treatment and monitoring. I have virtually recovered the kidney function I had prior to my heart surgery, but there is deterioration - slow but sure. I've been advised that I don't have too long before I have to consider a transplant and that I now qualify to be added to the waiting list. I asked if my joining the list when I have a willing donor was perhaps rather selfish, but I was advised that it is perfectly acceptable. Apparently, a kidney donated from a deceased person has a life of around 10-12 years, although they can last up to 20. However, if I have a 'regular' transplant then I'm likely to need another one in time. So, I can keep Jonathan 'in reserve' for the next time, and there is the added benefit that I don't have to put him through unnecessary (for him) surgery at this time. Then if my 'new' kidney lasts longer than average maybe I never need to use him.
I'm glad to back on the golf course, and my game is gradually getting back to normal -RUBBISH!!
I'm also back rehearsing with the band and thoroughly enjoying it.
Work is OK, but somewhat difficult at the moment because of the dreaded credit crunch, but at least I still have plenty to do.
I will try to add more very soon.

REAL PROGRESS THIS WEEK

This week I felt that I was making real progress in my recovery. I had an appointment with my cardiologist who, after a thorough examination told me that I had made sufficient progress to be discharged from his care! This is great news because I am now considered to be satisfactorily healed not to require further monitoring. My breast bone has healed very well, and, although it is still sore I don't have to treat it with 'kid gloves' any more. I still have to be cautious, but I can now be the judge of what I can and cannot do. I am OK to start golf at the beginning of June, but I have been warned that I must pay attention to what my body tells me. I don't intend going 'mad' but I will be back on the golf course on the 1st June and I will play my society monthly medal on the 7th. Let's see how I get on!
My discharge from cardiac care also means that I am almost clear for my transplant surgery. My cardiologist suggested that I wait another month before I put myself forward. My renal consultant suggested that I wait 'til our next meeting in a few weeks time. I can then decide whether or not to go on to the waiting list or plan my donated transplantation. I would prefer to wait until the end of the Summer before I submit to further surgery. I just don't feel ready yet to go back into hospital for more major surgery. A lot will depend on how my kidneys perform over the coming weeks and months. Provided I can maintain my current level, I can safely wait until the end of the year, but if there is further deterioration I will have to either start dialysis or take the transplant that is available to me.
I do consider myself to be very fortunate in that a potentially life threatening heart condition was discovered and treated before I suffered serious consequences, and that I have the opportunity to receive a new kidney to give me an extended quality of life.
I'll let you know when I make some decisions.

BACK TO NORMAL!!!! Just where I belong

Hello again. I'm beginning to feel that I am slowly getting 'back to normal', yet I realise I don't really know what exactly that means! Over the last few weeks I've started back to work on a part-time basis, I've returned to rehearsals with the band, I'm driving regularly, but I still feel like an invalid. I'm not yet fully recovered from the surgery, I still have pain and there are still activities which are forbidden to me, notably golf! I've been told that I should be able to return to golf 'in June' but without specific advice as to when. SO I've decided that June starts on the 1st and that's when I can go back. I will start on the 1st by hitting some balls on the practice range and then play a gentle round at Dukes Meadows. I shall continue practice through the week and intend playing in my society medal competition on the 7th. I will drive round the course to preserve my energy, so watch this space for a report in due course.
Last weekend I twice visited my club at Pine Ridge to watch both my society and The Titans finishing their competitions. The weather was beautiful, and I enjoyed being in the company of many friends and acquaintances. It was a little painful being just a spectator, but knowing that I should be back very soon helped ease the 'pain'.
I'm still attending my regular rehabilitation class at Charing Cross Hospital, and they seem to be satisfied with my progress. Tomorrow I am seeing the cardiologist and renal consultant for a full update, and I'll write something about the outcome in the next day or two. Let's hope it's all good news.
Thanks again to all of you for your kind words and valued support. I'll keep writing if you'll keep reading!!!

Sorry I've been ignoring you!!

It has been some time since I last posted an entry on the blog, and I now feel really guilty for my laziness. As I improve in health and strength, I find myself doing more 'normal' things and somehow this blog seems to be so self-indulgent that I now question its' value. However one or two of you have asked for an update, and I realise I will benefit in writing this. My recovery proceeds according to 'plan' and I am now out every day. I have started working two or three days each week, I drive and I am allowed to shop, cook etc. I still have pain in my chest, and expect this to last for at least another month before the wound in my sternum has fully healed. My leg is much improved and I can take a good long walk every day without any serious discomfort.
I'm glad to report that my kidney function is gradually improving and it now seems likely that I will be able to avoid dialysis before I am able to have my transplant. I have to attend the renal clinic once a month for monitoring, and the blood analysis is very encouraging.
And I have started a weekly rehabilitation programme at the hospital. I go through a simple cardiac check and we exercise for approximately half an hour. I feel a benefit from this programme, although some of the exercises are quite tiring.
I was fortunate enough to travel to Mallorca for a long weekend recently (photo attached) where I had a super and relaxing time. David and Julia Kreeger were so very considerate, and made the trip a huge success. Of course there was no golf, but we enjoyed some lovely sightseeing and some excellent meals.
I hope to be playing golf at the beginning of June AND I'm planning on returning to band rehearsals within the next couple of weeks. AT LAST SOME NORMALITY IN MY LIFE!!!!!!
I will contribute more to the blog over the coming weeks, and as I progress towards my transplant I will express my feelings as I approach surgery yet again.
Don't desert me now.

False alarm - hopefully!

In my last posting I wrote about my being 'summoned' to the hospital because of concerns about my kidney function. I attended last week, and went through a series of tests to measure the exact position. It seems that the concern was based on results from Hammersmith Hospital just before I was discharged and that, by now, I may have recovered more kidney function. I don't have the results yet; they will come next week, but I feel reasonably confident that I will have recovered to close to my pre-operative state, and that there will be no need to consider further treatment (dialysis) at this time.
When I receive the results I will post a further entry, but, hopefully there will be very little to report.
What I can say is that I am improving day by day. My strength is gradually returning, and am beginning to feel like my old self. There is still some pain from the significant wound in my chest, but it has greatly reduced and I can almost feel it getting better. I'm now able to sleep reasonably well, and this also makes me feel better than I was. AND I have been able to start doing some useful work at the computer, so I now feel more useful than I have done for some weeks. It is not easy being so totally dependent as I have been up to now, but with some actual work I now feel I am beginning to take my place again as a contributing member of society!
Let's hope that this now continues without any setbacks.

Moving forward????

Today is exactly three weeks since my heart surgery, and my progress feels painfully slow - literally!! Whilst I appreciate that three weeks is no time at all following a major operation I am getting a little impatient. I still feel very fragile and every movement is an effort. Just getting myself out of bed in the morning is quite an achievement. Fortunately I am able to go for a walk every day, and this certainly lifts my spirits considerably. I don't walk alone, and am very lucky that I always have someone to accompany me. I still have quite a lot of pain, and have to continually take painkillers, which I am not very happy about, but it helps day by day.
Today I learned that there is still some concern about the recovery of my kidneys to a 'normal' function. I was contacted by the renal unit at Charing Cross hospital telling me that I must attend soon for a thorough examination. There is still the very real possibility that I may have to start dialysis quite soon if there is not a real improvement. I had hoped that I could avoid this procedure and that I could go forward to the transplant later in the year, but this may not be possible. It just seems that problem piles upon problem!! Any way I will go to the hospital next Tuesday and then we'll see just what is in store for me.
I will report further next week.

Slow but sure

It is now one whole week since my discharge from hospital, and being at home has been very good for me. But I am unbelievably fragile and weak, and my activities are severely restricted. Basically I am allowed to do NOTHING!!!! As an independent person I find it very difficult to have to rely on others all the time, but if I am to recover properly I have no choice. And I am so very fortunate in having loving family and friends around me helping me at every step of the way. I am able to take a short walk each day, and my dear friends are almost fighting over the 'privilege' to walk with me. Now I know how it feels to be a family dog- treasured and loved in equal measure but actually quite useless. I feel much better in myself, but I still do have a lot of pain from the wounds of the surgery, and I suppose I will just have to put up with this until the healing process is much further advanced.
Yesterday I visited my GP and she examined me. Apparently everything looks good and she is very satisfied with my progress. She gave me prescriptions for all the medication I need for the next month, and I went to the pharmacist with my requirements. I came away with a huge sack of drugs, which I have to sort into morning and evening doses over the next few weeks.
I don't suppose I will have much to write about over the next few days, but I will post news of any real progress.
I will be back!!!!!

A new beginning......

Amazingly it is now two weeks since I last posted on this blog and I have been through life-changing experiences in hospital. Before I talk about that I must thank Jonathan for his great contributions while I was indisposed - everyone has said how much they 'enjoyed' his notes (particularly the blog dated 7th February!).

So much has happened that I don't know how best to describe my ordeal. In simple terms the operation on the 7th was entirely successful and I was taken directly into intensive care. To say that I was more uncomfortable than I have ever been in my life is such an understatement, but I don't know how else to describe it. I was in tremendous pain, had tubes and needles attached to every available part of my body and simply had to 'lie back and take it'. Sadly, and as expected, my kidneys failed to resume normal service and I had to have dialysis for three days. This kept me in ICU for five days rather than the usual one or two. However I must say that the quality of the care I received was beyond any expectations. I became totally in awe of the dedication of the nursing staff, who treated me with such care and consideration throughout this time. I don't know that I would have got through it all without that fantastic care.
After five days, and with my kidneys beginning to function better I was transferred to the high dependency unit, where I stayed for a further two days. During this period I was gradually 'weaned' off the various 'attachments' to my body, and I started to recover some of my independence. This accelerated my recovery by leaps and bounds. The re-humanisation gave me confidence and I felt a true improvement.
With all tubes etc removed I was then moved to a cardiac surgical ward where I improved hugely almost minute by minute. After just two days the doctors decided that I was sufficiently recovered to return home. What a relief!!!
I came home on Saturday the 16th, just ten days after I entered hospital.
Now the full repair process begins.
I will post more progress reports as I move forward.