It's now more than six weeks since I was diagnosed with heart disease. It has been so long that I have begun to get used to it, while it still has an unreal feeling about it. I realise that with most sufferers, the time between diagnosis and surgery is just a matter of days or even hours. I've never known anyone who has been living with it for this long and I think this just makes it seem worse. I'm constantly thinking about the procedure and exactly what it means to me. I would much rather have been rushed into emergency surgery when I wouldn't have had a chance to dwell on it. But I suppose I have to agree that I've been very lucky, having been diagnosed before I became critically ill, and I've had the chance to put my affairs in order before I go 'under the knife'.
I just hope that I haven't driven everyone mad with my problems! I try to act normally, and talk of all matters other than health, but no matter how hard I try the spectre of the 'operation' eventually rears it ugly head. For that I apologise, and promise that, as soon as I come out of surgery I will positively view the future in a different light.
But please don't stop contacting me; I love to hear from you all, and really appreciate the tremendous support you've all given me.
It's getting really close now.
I just hope that I haven't driven everyone mad with my problems! I try to act normally, and talk of all matters other than health, but no matter how hard I try the spectre of the 'operation' eventually rears it ugly head. For that I apologise, and promise that, as soon as I come out of surgery I will positively view the future in a different light.
But please don't stop contacting me; I love to hear from you all, and really appreciate the tremendous support you've all given me.
It's getting really close now.
