There are those who consider a lazy Sunday, doing absolutely nothing as a prescription for heaven. How wrong!!! I'm spending another Sunday with nothing to do instead of most of my last few years when the day was pretty full. Waiting for surgery, and concerned that any extreme activity might cause a heart attack, I'm figuratively 'walking on eggshells'. Probably, my fears are way over the top, but I don't dare do anything that might trigger a problem; and I just do not want to have to go into surgery before the chosen date in February.
If you were told that you had a limited, and known amount of time left on Earth you'd probably want to go out with a bang; doing everything you ever dreamed of before it became too late. Yet here I am, waiting for the most serious medical procedure I have ever experienced, possible even life threatening, and am DOING NOTHING!!!! It just doesn't make sense. I'm doing everything to avoid bringing on a problem, and making my life miserable into the bargain. It's not that I'm negative about the result; I have every confidence in my medical team, I just don't want to become responsible for my own decline. The wait now seems interminable, but I made the choice, and I have to live with it.
Oh well, won't be long now!!
If you were told that you had a limited, and known amount of time left on Earth you'd probably want to go out with a bang; doing everything you ever dreamed of before it became too late. Yet here I am, waiting for the most serious medical procedure I have ever experienced, possible even life threatening, and am DOING NOTHING!!!! It just doesn't make sense. I'm doing everything to avoid bringing on a problem, and making my life miserable into the bargain. It's not that I'm negative about the result; I have every confidence in my medical team, I just don't want to become responsible for my own decline. The wait now seems interminable, but I made the choice, and I have to live with it.
Oh well, won't be long now!!
